Dear Pregnant Teenager who is feeling a little hopeless,
I was just like you 9 years ago. 15. Pregnant. Scared. Ashamed. I wish someone had told me what I am going to tell you.
I know you are scared and I know you probably didn’t mean to get pregnant. It just happened and now nothing can ever change the fact that you were once pregnant. Not adoption, not abortion. NOTHING. You are what you are. But, there is HOPE.
I know, your parents are mad as hell and yelling, but they are yelling because they love you. And they feel sorry that you are losing your childhood. Yes, your whole teenage years are behind you because you have to grow up and raise that beautiful being that you helped to develop. The other half of your child may or may not ever grow up and you need to accept that possibility. And you can’t make the dad grow up. I was the one of the 4 lucky ones out of 24 girls in my “Baby Steps” class to have the dad stick around and actually grow into a man that I am so deeply in love with.
If he doesn’t grow up, let him go. God has a better man out there for you rather than that boy who will probably never grow up. Be patient and focus on growing yourself and raising your child. It will happen in it’s own time.
Finish high school. Go to college or at least do something with your life other than flipping burgers at McDonald’s. That baby deserves the best and you have to give it to them.
You will have to sacrifice a lot. Your body, your time, your money, your food, the last piece of cake. No matter what, your body will never be the same. Even if you go back to being a size 0, you carried a human in your body for 9 months and your body will never feel the same to you. Accept it. Accept every stretch mark. Accept every lump and bump that is there. Accept that your boobs and your lady parts are not the same. You are still beautiful and don’t you forget it.
You will not get any sleep after the baby is born. Stay calm. When someone offers to help, take it. If they offer to watch the baby take it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It does not make you weak. It makes you human and we all need help sometimes. You will also hear 500 times to sleep when the baby sleeps. Take that advice. I know, you are trying to prove you are super mom, but you can’t survive a week on 2 hours of sleep. SLEEP as much as you can. You need the energy!
Labor hurts. A LOT. The epidural hurts too, but once the medicine kicks in, whoa baby! You won’t feel a thing. Take classes and educate yourself on labor. It really helps. Also, make a birth plan and talk it over with your doctor before you go into labor. They can explain certain stuff to you!
When you see your baby for the first time, it is ok not to cry. It does not make you any less of a mother. You are young, and don’t fully understand what an amazing little creature that baby is. You will always get that overwhelming sense of love when you see baby for the first time. But you won’t understand what an amazing, adventurous impact that child will have on your life until you are older.
Breastfeed for as long as you can. There is no other feeling like the bond you have with your baby when nursing them. It is so healthy for them. It is going to hurt at first but darling, you can do it. It is going to be really hard to pump during school hours. Set a schedule so that you pump during your easier classes. Make it a habit and don’t feel bad if you have to give up on nursing. You tried and that counts. Your baby will still be a healthy, beautiful child.
Finally, people are going to stare, and make rude comments. That is the price of being a teen mom. Ignore them. Just because you are young does not mean you are not going to love that baby. People are judgmental (and a lot of them will be family). They just don’t understand how it easily could be their child in your shoes. Keep your head held high and do not be ashamed.Just love that baby with all your heart and soul. He or she will be one of the biggest blessings in your life!
I hope this message finds you and that it lets you know, someone was in the same shoes and you are not alone. I too was scared shitless and terrified of what my parents thought. But my daughter is now one of my biggest blessings (my son who came 7 years after her is my other big blessing) and yours will be too.
Another Teen Mom Just Like You
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